Once I cut a lot of my hair off and taped it to my face because I wanted to see what it would be like to have a mustache. I was in my apartment, alone. My apartment had horribly, horribly textured walls. In a broader sense, it was a very stressful time. The mustache did not look very good, and fell off sort of right away. But it made me briefly, wildly happy. The next day I told one of my coworkers about it and he said this was something I should never openly admit. But I have a big mouth. My old landlord used to call me Big Mouth, Little Head. Anyway, let’s say that you are less committed than I am. Let’s say you do not want to cut a bunch of hair off, or apply duct tape to your face, or achieve the world’s briefest, ugliest mustache, but you do want to achieve a wild happiness. This product is your solution. I know it’s not a book and, Matthew, you do not have to give me a voucher. But let’s be honest, these classic mustaches are the perfect ornament for your face.
- By Beth